Wednesday 21 July 2010

No alcohol for six weeks

I took my first anti-depressent this morning.

I've been experiencing symptoms of depression since 2004. These include lack of energy/appetite/sleep, crying for no reason, feeling slow and lethargic, feeling guilty, worthless and very irritable especially with background noise, difficulty concentrating, bursts of anger and other stuff. Not good. Am seeing a therapist. Its hard talking to people about depression unless they've experienced as well. (Not my therapist, she's fine. I'm mean whoever may be reading this who is lucky enough not to have depression.)

Have been feeling sad and overwhelmed by life recently and I'm fed up of this and all the other symptoms, so after being scared and saying to no them for the past six years, I've finally started taking anti-depressents.

Why am I scared of them? Side effects. You should see the list of side effects on the little leaflet that comes with my pills. They range from common ones that happen to one in ten people who take this particular medication such as nausea, headaches and dry mouth to rare and exciting ones like convulsions, bleeding, euphoria, loss of contact with your own personal reality and anaphylactic reactions. Oh yes, and there's the side effect that this leaflet doesn't know the frequency of, thoughts of harming or killing themselves. Dear God. And the leaflet also says it is inadvisable to consume alcohol whilst on this medication.

I wobbled down the phone to my sister after reading this last night. Being the great nurse she is, she was very reassuring and reminded me that the scary side effects are very very very rare. So this morning, I popped my first happy pill. All I've felt today is slight nausea. So, I will press on, despite not being able to drink for six weeks and see what happens. I've just remembered, I have a friend's hen do at Vinopolis in August. That's going to be interesting!

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